Anyone Here Got Biohazard Training?

This story deserves a post of it's own..

It was a hot and humid day in Georgia. We had a client, an older gentleman, who was (honestly) just wasting time.

He had a lot of questions about the legal status of churches but no relevant reason to want to know. He mostly wanted to be angry whenever he felt that the answer we gave him was “unjust” or “discriminatory against Christians”.

The paralegal on duty at the front desk was relatively new and didn’t yet have the presence of personality to tell the older man to f*** off. 

Suddenly, we became aware of an awful smell, as though someone had the most rancid fart. We looked through the door to the front office and saw the paralegal’s eyes watering. I was selected as the sacrifice to find out what was going on.

What was going on was that the man had soiled himself. He had continued talking to our paralegal, even as it dribbled down the back of his legs, into his shoes, and onto the floor.

Eventually the paralegal say“Please, sir, leave to wash up. The smell is bothering other clients.”

Old Guy: “Are you saying I stink? I’ve never been so offended!”

The man started to argue back, but I raised myself to my full height.

Me: “It’s time for you to leave.”

Old Guy: “Okay, okay. You didn’t have to be rude!”

I locked the door as he left, and then I looked at the muddy trail of s*** across the floor.

Me: “Right. Anyone here got biohazard training?”

A chorus of nos came from the back. I turned to our paralegal.

It took almost four hours for the emergency cleaning crew we called to arrive and start cleaning.

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